This was a wonderfully chilling story. I find lighthouses fascinating and always ripe for the makings of a story. Though I never thought of one about a lighthouse in the middle of a field. The atmosphere, the tension, the mystery never fully explained. I loved it.
Your words come at the exact right time to make my day wonderful. Thank you so much for reading and commenting, it means so much to me! Iām glad you enjoyed the story and the premise. It was intriguing to me too. š¤
Okay, my second coffee of the day is prepared, and I've served myself grapes. Let's dive in. (Writing this comment as I read!)
Aaaand I had to stop reading to write literally on the first paragraph. What I love about your writing is that it reveals so much with so little, like a perfect arrow that arrives at the mark. In the first paragraph, you just told us so much about brother and sister and family dynamics: he leads, and she reads his moods. He is sure; she is the one who questions.
"It is her favorite thing: to stand at the threshold of understanding. To graze epiphany with her fingertips and taste its sugars on her tongue." I already like and resonate with her (I am also the second daughter!). Themes that spring to mind: analyzing a historical artefact or piece of architecture without reverence. I am paying attention to Wes when he says that they are just there for info on his thesis, as if whatever they are about to see should serve them, not vice versa. The end result vs. the process, the end of the road vs. the journey, utilitarian thinking vs. curiosity thinking (maybe? We shall see.)
"Cobbled walls like sparse teeth circling the hamlet." Great line. I notice your writing uses "teeth" and "mouth" imagery as recurring symbols of dread or mystery. I love that as a stylistic mark.
"His spectacles reflect it strangely." I like how the prose lingers through his spectacles at various points, as if we are seeing things through his eyes, and it also adds mystery.
The sentiment that "all villages are strange" is amazing and true. All villages have their folk tales threaded through them, and this one is no different. I am afraid they will soon find out why the people here are so taken by the sea, even though it is landlocked...
I love the recurring smells of salt, brine, and rotten fish, and what they symbolize for the characters: that their environment makes no sense. Also, the seagulls that seem to scream "hunger" and have "hungry eyes". What are they hungering for, and why do they linger? Are they waiting for the sea to come back? I like that Celeste observes them.
Okay, rework of my theory: Wes symbolizes pure reason and logic, Celeste (appropriate name btw) symbolizes belief, a belief in the hidden world. I am noticing how Wes uses the word "delusional" to describe the villagers, while Celeste is more willing to understand their behavior (as she should, she is an outsider; what do they know?). Another theme I see is a bit of sibling rivalry, which is perfect for this story and this ambience. Who is right? We shall see...
(Another theme I love that is recurring in all your stories: strangers or outsiders coming into a new, foreign environment, and how they react to its dangers.)
Oof, the scene with the villagers was tense. What I am predicting: Wes will want to visit the lighthouse again, but Celeste will try to deter him from going, as she now believes in the storm.
I love how Edith's eyes "taper" to symbolize she's not "all there", not fully awake.
Celeste keeps seeing sea-related images, the buoy, the waves, etc., but I like how the story is never really confirms if it's all in her head or if it's real. At least not yet.
I like Wes and his willingness to investigate, even though I feel he is being stubborn. But I fear I might be him in this situation also. Now, I am thinking of him as the one who questions, not Celeste. I guess this happens a lot to people who want to be right about things and are stubborn about it; they go down the rabbit hole of "I need to know."
THERE IS A SEA UNDER THE ATTIC. OH THIS IS SO GOOD IT GAVE ME CHILLS!! The groan of the shipwrecks and the prose ("watery seconds") was excellent in this part. This story is making the sea something very frightful...which it is, actually. But I love the contrast of an ordinary setting (a landlocked hamlet) with what lies under the surface (a strong, almost vengeful sea!!!)
Okay, you caught me off guard. It is CELESTE the one who wants to go back to the lighthouse, not Wes. I MUST REMAIN CALM NOW. The story is picking up like the storm...
"Her brotherās words reeked of fear, and the moment logic could no longer explain anything, he clambered behind his shell." Exactly correct, and I am a firm believer that logic is not enough to explain the world we live in, as this story demonstrates...
NO!!! they were taken by the village! Okay, so is the second line across the spiral supposed to represent her? Are they a sacrifice to the sea? Let me go back and see if there was any foreshadowing.
Okay, Edith warned them about the sea swallowing people up by the lighthouse. It seems like the people there weren't looking to actively use the newcomers as sacrifices, but they know how the village works and are preparing to catch fish and use sea to their advantage, and just kind of reticent to newcomers not following their warnings? No? This is how I interpret it.
GREAT STORY AS ALWAYS!!! I loved reading it, and the theme on delusion vs. belief was amazing, embodied by siblings.
Your discernment always stuns me. How you see every little thing in all of my tales, and how your mind can easily synthesize the overarching themes in all of my stories. I do like to write about outsiders coming to a strange place or people discovering things not meant for them. I tend to oscillate between these premises most of the time.
You described the siblings perfectly. Their dynamic was fun to write for me.
Iām honestly just in awe of your discernment. Iām sure youāll make for an amazing beta reader haha
That being said, thank you for your extensive analysis. Most of the time, I donāt even realize my own literary devices myself, so seeing them come to light through someone else feels like English lit class when we had to do the same for the books we read. Feels surreal to be on the other end.
Thank you again for reading and taking the time to comment. It honestly means the absolute world to me to read this about my work.
C. C., this was fantastic! Your prose never ceases to amaze me. You manage to evoke this undercurrent of dread without directly speaking of it and despite taking your time to paint the imagery there was still an urgency in the story, a thrill. Kept me glued to my screen the entire way through. Amazing story telling!
Thank you so much for saying that. Iām so glad the story was compelling. I had more trouble with this one than with the others, so Iām happy it hit the mark. šš¤
This was a wonderfully chilling story. I find lighthouses fascinating and always ripe for the makings of a story. Though I never thought of one about a lighthouse in the middle of a field. The atmosphere, the tension, the mystery never fully explained. I loved it.
Your words come at the exact right time to make my day wonderful. Thank you so much for reading and commenting, it means so much to me! Iām glad you enjoyed the story and the premise. It was intriguing to me too. š¤
I'm glad I could give you such encouragement at the right time. Thank you for the wonderful story.
Definitely different than anything I've read before!
Thank you so much for those kind words! Iām so delighted you enjoyed it! š«¶
Okay, my second coffee of the day is prepared, and I've served myself grapes. Let's dive in. (Writing this comment as I read!)
Aaaand I had to stop reading to write literally on the first paragraph. What I love about your writing is that it reveals so much with so little, like a perfect arrow that arrives at the mark. In the first paragraph, you just told us so much about brother and sister and family dynamics: he leads, and she reads his moods. He is sure; she is the one who questions.
"It is her favorite thing: to stand at the threshold of understanding. To graze epiphany with her fingertips and taste its sugars on her tongue." I already like and resonate with her (I am also the second daughter!). Themes that spring to mind: analyzing a historical artefact or piece of architecture without reverence. I am paying attention to Wes when he says that they are just there for info on his thesis, as if whatever they are about to see should serve them, not vice versa. The end result vs. the process, the end of the road vs. the journey, utilitarian thinking vs. curiosity thinking (maybe? We shall see.)
"Cobbled walls like sparse teeth circling the hamlet." Great line. I notice your writing uses "teeth" and "mouth" imagery as recurring symbols of dread or mystery. I love that as a stylistic mark.
"His spectacles reflect it strangely." I like how the prose lingers through his spectacles at various points, as if we are seeing things through his eyes, and it also adds mystery.
The sentiment that "all villages are strange" is amazing and true. All villages have their folk tales threaded through them, and this one is no different. I am afraid they will soon find out why the people here are so taken by the sea, even though it is landlocked...
I love the recurring smells of salt, brine, and rotten fish, and what they symbolize for the characters: that their environment makes no sense. Also, the seagulls that seem to scream "hunger" and have "hungry eyes". What are they hungering for, and why do they linger? Are they waiting for the sea to come back? I like that Celeste observes them.
Okay, rework of my theory: Wes symbolizes pure reason and logic, Celeste (appropriate name btw) symbolizes belief, a belief in the hidden world. I am noticing how Wes uses the word "delusional" to describe the villagers, while Celeste is more willing to understand their behavior (as she should, she is an outsider; what do they know?). Another theme I see is a bit of sibling rivalry, which is perfect for this story and this ambience. Who is right? We shall see...
(Another theme I love that is recurring in all your stories: strangers or outsiders coming into a new, foreign environment, and how they react to its dangers.)
Oof, the scene with the villagers was tense. What I am predicting: Wes will want to visit the lighthouse again, but Celeste will try to deter him from going, as she now believes in the storm.
I love how Edith's eyes "taper" to symbolize she's not "all there", not fully awake.
Celeste keeps seeing sea-related images, the buoy, the waves, etc., but I like how the story is never really confirms if it's all in her head or if it's real. At least not yet.
I like Wes and his willingness to investigate, even though I feel he is being stubborn. But I fear I might be him in this situation also. Now, I am thinking of him as the one who questions, not Celeste. I guess this happens a lot to people who want to be right about things and are stubborn about it; they go down the rabbit hole of "I need to know."
THERE IS A SEA UNDER THE ATTIC. OH THIS IS SO GOOD IT GAVE ME CHILLS!! The groan of the shipwrecks and the prose ("watery seconds") was excellent in this part. This story is making the sea something very frightful...which it is, actually. But I love the contrast of an ordinary setting (a landlocked hamlet) with what lies under the surface (a strong, almost vengeful sea!!!)
Okay, you caught me off guard. It is CELESTE the one who wants to go back to the lighthouse, not Wes. I MUST REMAIN CALM NOW. The story is picking up like the storm...
"Her brotherās words reeked of fear, and the moment logic could no longer explain anything, he clambered behind his shell." Exactly correct, and I am a firm believer that logic is not enough to explain the world we live in, as this story demonstrates...
NO!!! they were taken by the village! Okay, so is the second line across the spiral supposed to represent her? Are they a sacrifice to the sea? Let me go back and see if there was any foreshadowing.
Okay, Edith warned them about the sea swallowing people up by the lighthouse. It seems like the people there weren't looking to actively use the newcomers as sacrifices, but they know how the village works and are preparing to catch fish and use sea to their advantage, and just kind of reticent to newcomers not following their warnings? No? This is how I interpret it.
GREAT STORY AS ALWAYS!!! I loved reading it, and the theme on delusion vs. belief was amazing, embodied by siblings.
New words learned: ectopic, almanac, niter.
Your discernment always stuns me. How you see every little thing in all of my tales, and how your mind can easily synthesize the overarching themes in all of my stories. I do like to write about outsiders coming to a strange place or people discovering things not meant for them. I tend to oscillate between these premises most of the time.
You described the siblings perfectly. Their dynamic was fun to write for me.
Iām honestly just in awe of your discernment. Iām sure youāll make for an amazing beta reader haha
That being said, thank you for your extensive analysis. Most of the time, I donāt even realize my own literary devices myself, so seeing them come to light through someone else feels like English lit class when we had to do the same for the books we read. Feels surreal to be on the other end.
Thank you again for reading and taking the time to comment. It honestly means the absolute world to me to read this about my work.
Much love to you for that! š¤
Wonderful story. I loved the build with the siblings back and forth, and the great use of a lighthouse.
Thank you, Stephen! Iām so glad you enjoyed the tale and the siblingsā banter. It was fun to write. š«¶
C. C., this was fantastic! Your prose never ceases to amaze me. You manage to evoke this undercurrent of dread without directly speaking of it and despite taking your time to paint the imagery there was still an urgency in the story, a thrill. Kept me glued to my screen the entire way through. Amazing story telling!
Thank you so much for saying that. Iām so glad the story was compelling. I had more trouble with this one than with the others, so Iām happy it hit the mark. šš¤
I totally loved the slow buildup, and the missing sea idea is really cool! Really enjoyed it. š
Thank you so much! Iām so glad the pacing came out as I intended. Thank you for reading and commenting, it means a lot to me. š¤
Thank you for writing š